You smell like a Billy Joel song
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
