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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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