i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
