his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
