I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
