MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
