Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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