"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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