apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
