and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
