You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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