I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
