I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
