Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You took a bar mat shot.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
