You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Screwed.edu
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
