dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
