That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
