I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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