You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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