so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
