You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
