You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
