Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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