Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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