at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
