this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
