Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
