It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
