it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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