It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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