Please don't use social media to get back at me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
