That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
