My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
