Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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