I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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