tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
