do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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