I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize