I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
