Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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