So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
