I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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