forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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