anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
