i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
