wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
