can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
