I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
