I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
