You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
