Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
