I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
