I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
