Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
