eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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